The other day I went for drinks After school with some of my class mates. Somehow we started talking about babies. I told them how I know over a dozen women who are my age (22-23) who are having or already have kids. The women I was talking to (who are older late 20s-early 30s) both said that was way to young to have a kid. For the most part I totally agree. (There are some exceptions though.) One of the girls said “I think that’s what I need in my life right now – a baby”. I told them I never want to have a kid. Maybe one day Id adopt and then of course, they asked why.
That’s how we got into the topic of how I was adopted and how most of my family was adopted. While telling them my quick version if my life story for the millionth time, I realized that maybe my life story isn’t that normal. I thought it was, but people always seem so interested and amazed when I tell them. So now I’ll tell you, at least the first few years for now.
Age 1-6 (Vancouver)
I was born in Vancouver BC Canada to my biological mother. I lived with her, my grandmother and my grandfather. Now my bio mom has some mental problems. No one is to sure exactly what though. She gets very violent for no reason and can’t remember it. She also apparently has epilepsy. Because of her conditions my grandmother mostly took care of me. My grandfather was around for a bit but he was an alcoholic and left when I was really young. I still remember that conversation. We were sitting on a bench in our complex. I hated living in that complex I had no friends, I got physically bullied. I remember two things specifically. The first is a group of kids that chased me up a fence and I had to jump of the top which really hurt my ankles. The other is a group of kids cornered me against a fence in a semi-circle and started beating me up. I ran between a kids legs to get away. I remember looking back and seeing my blankie in the mud. When I started kindergarten the teachers asked me why I was always covered in bruises. I bet your thinking it was from the kids? Nope. It was my bio Mom. So social services told her to move out or they would take me away. That’s when I first started to see councilors. I remember feeling so cool because I didn’t have to go to class like other kids I would get a ‘teacher’ (who was really a councilor) all to myself and we would just do art for hours. I also started going to respite which is when you live with a different family every so often to give you a break from your home. The complex we lived in was assisted/low-income living and because there was just the two of us living in a 3 bedroom place we had to move.
We ended up moving to one of the islands in BC. I made my first friend in our new complex. She was nervous about starting kindergarten and I was nervous about first grade and going to a new school. She made friends really quickly but I didn’t. She was popular and kinda just left me behind and ignored me at school. But when we at home she was my friend. Oh well. I decided that I didn’t like going to school anymore so I didn’t. My grandma couldn’t control me. I was very angry and violent. I got taken away from her and put into well pretty much a mental hospital for kids. They did tests on me and came to the conclusion that I was normal I just wasn’t really raised. I had no consequences and could do what ever I wanted. So they looked into my grandmother the one who was raising me. What they discovered was that her IQ was 72 which is like 2 over being mentally handicap. When she was a kid she got really sick and resulted in her having a lower IQ. So obviously I couldn’t go live with her again. I then got put into foster care. I lived with this one lady for most of my time in foster care. After living with her for over a year she wanted to adopt me. I didn’t want to be adopted, she was nice but she was not my Mom. The only person left in my family who could take care of my was my aunt.
I moved in with my aunt when I was 9 and this is when my life really started to come together. Which I will write about in another post. 🙂